Drive Thru Sequins and Corset Bras

Oh dress shopping. To be quite honest, I dreaded it. Putting on a white and/or ivory dress and prancing around. Just doesn’t sound like my idea of fun. But the more I looked at these dresses, and talked to my friends I got excited to try this out.

At my first bridal show David’s Bridal was offering $50 gift cards if you made an appointment. What the hell! I didn’t want anything to do with what I felt was the Target of bridal dresses. But deep down a piece of me hoped I’d find the perfect dress for a ridiculously awesome price there, and be done.

Weeks later, my appointment arrived and off went my mom and I. We weren’t greeted when we arrived 10min early, but instead barked at “Do you have an appointment?” Why yes I do! I smiled. So proud to be able to say this for once. (Being a bridesmaid I’d never had a friend make an appointment at a DB but instead just show up) She asked for my name and told me straight up NO YOU DON’T, ads she cocked her head to the side like I told YOU!

I whipped out the appointment/gift card and handed it to her. Oh…?! Where did you get this?!
A bridal show in vancouver….
From Who?!?!
Someone I assumed was a DB sales rep….
Oh…well I’ll put you in at 7:30pm here is a catalog, we’ll try to get you in earlier.

I should note it was 5:50pm, and I was all umm excuse me, but you made the mistake so why are these walk-ins getting in before me.

because TECH-NICALLY you didn’t have an appointment. Sassy McI Have a Tape Measure Around my neck swished off.

My mom gave me a look, like she was going to go yell at that woman. Which is a bit disconcerting since my mom is probably the sweetest pea you’ll ever meet. But seeing as she’s worked in customer service for many years, she doesn’t tolerate shotty customer service well.

Eventually, I stepped up and got real terse with the woman and suddenly my helper should arrive.
I told her style numbers of all the dresses I loved online, I pointed out pictures in the catalog I’d been handed, and pointed out ones on the rack.

After getting into the corset bra of unflattering doom and my sexy full coverage, non-ass baring panties. I awaited the first dress with anticipation. The 5 foot, 80lb Okasana Byul imitation yanked out the first white sequined monstrasity.


She zips me in and I go out for my mom. My mom’s expression doesn’t move, I’m like soo…. she’s all you chose that?! Oksana pipes in OH NO NO I thought this would be what she likes.

My mom’s like yeah let’s try another. I whole heatedly agree!! I swish back to that lil tiny room to be de-clothed again.

Now I have 2 girls and a husband sharing my lil dressing room area trying on bridesmaid dresses with the husband giving input. For the love, I am in a not so flattering semi-nude state, but does anyone care…nope. I get another satin frock thrown over my head.

Now this was the dress I’d loved|-49998998|-49998996&catentryId=1000102 it seemed so simple so modern. When on it was simply a satin lump with my breasts in full frontal attention….NEXT|-49998998|-49995489&catentryId=1000230
I stop the associate and explain again my wedding, my vision, how I want something fun, something unique. Not temple ready, but really just ME! She looks with a gleam in her eye and runs off for the next one.

She tries|-49998998|-49995489&catentryId=1000224

then this…|-49998998|-49995489&catentryId=1000223

I explain again this isn’t a summer wedding

She refuses to bring me this one, saying it’s not available in my size. EVER!|-49998998|-49995489&catentryId=1000125

Finally, I gave up on this dress. Told her it was great, and it was the only one I enjoyed myself in. But then the fast talk started. Oh it may be gone tomorrow, the designer might discontinue it and can you stand living without it forever. Yes, please let me out of it. Oh close your eyes and imagine yourself walking down the aisle in it.
This was the first dress trip, and started me with the feeling that this fluffy girl wasn’t going to have the easiest road to finding a dress.



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